No Smoking, No Drinking

Sorry for the long gap guys, I've been quite busy doing senseless things..
I've been hurt.. Im confused.. I have many things to say but I got lazy to write it on paper but kinda impatient to type it here in my online journal because of my small keys in my netbook..

So many months had passed, many events have gone.. I dont even check my grammar anymore.. Just what my english teacher said.. Just go and flow.. write about everythin.. I that comes in your mind, the thoughts, even the dirty ones..

I write outside the title because I dont know.. I want to be free as the air I breathe.. I want to be burned only for the sun..

It's just, I am addicted to this one girl for 3 years now.. The heartache never stops.. and due to that illusion, I have to vices just to fill those gap, but its the worst regret that I truly feel... I just want to die... Go back to the past and stop my first sip.. My first shot..

I want to renewed, Help me find this answer the one from up above.. And to people that cares for me.. Im not hard to find,.,